I've found myself thinking about "doing good to others" a lot lately. We had a lesson at church in our Relief Society class about this very topic. Since then I've been doing some self reflection. I consider myself a fairly decent person. I'm pretty friendly, but even I have my issues. For example, I really hate stupid drivers. It's just this thing that really bugs me and even though I know they can't hear my snarky comments from inside my car, I still find myself making them and waving my hands around like a lunatic to show them what a ridiculous thing they just did. (It's ok if the visual of this makes you laugh!) This usually comes along with feelings of frustration, aggravation, annoyance, etc. But recently I have decided to try to give those people the benefit of the doubt, because I know that I sometimes do stupid things when I'm driving too. (Don't worry Austin, I haven't done anything stupid enough that could get me into a car wreck.) Because even if they can't hear me, my kids in the backseat can hear me, and those negative feelings only end up effecting my own day.
President Snow makes some great comments about serving others, and this is one of my favorite: "Cultivate a spirit of charity; be ready to do for others more than you would expect from them if circumstances were reversed" (257) I can't decide how others will react towards me when I do something "not so smart," (like when I'm driving) but I can try to improve my own reactions towards others and create in myself a more positive perspective on life and those around me, both friends/family and strangers.
To that end, I've noticed since becoming a mom I am more sensitive to the pains and struggles people experience. Some part of me thinks, "What if that was my child?" I consider those feelings I have, and then I wonder how our Heavenly Father feels watching over us. If I, as human and mortal and imperfect as I am, can feel so much love for my children and so much love for my friends, family, neighbors and even strangers, how much more must our Heavenly Father love us?!
I was watching my children just the other morning as they were watching Curious George together. Konrad had helped Fray up onto a chair and was sitting next to her with his arm around her shoulder. She was leaning her head against him and I just looked at them and thought - "I'm so glad they are so loving and kind to each other! I'm so glad they get along so well!" I consider our Heavenly Father, who loves us with a purity and perfection we can't understand, and I feel that he wants me to be a good sister to all of my brothers and sisters in the world. I feel that just as I want my children to get along and help each other, He wants us to do the same to one another.
I am finding more and more what a good example my children are to me. Fray is almost 2 and she loves to smile and wave at everyone. In the grocery store, walking to the car, at the playground, and so on. This one moment sticks out in my mind though: I was in the bank with her and I'm like everyone else - I go about my business, not really paying attention to the people around me who are also just doing their own thing. And then there's Fray. She's walking around the bank, looking everyone in the eye, smiling her big gorgeous smile and waving to them all. As she was doing this I saw the change that came over each person as they saw her and reacted to her friendly disposition and one by one they each got these huge grins on their faces and waved back. They then all looked up at me, with those smiles on their faces, and I just smiled back. I have to think that her simple actions of love and sincere friendship brightened their day, because it certainly brightened mine.
These kinds of moments stick out in stark contrast to the conditions of the world today. This world of technology has done much to shorten the distances and make the world feel much smaller. But it has also had the opposite effect of shutting us off to personal interactions with our neighbors and the stranger in front of us in line or at the bank.
I have made it my goal to do as President Snow encourages us: "Let your minds be expanded to comprehend and look after the interest of your friends that are around you, and where it is in your power to secure benefits to your friends do so, and in so doing you will find that those things which you need will come into your hands quicker than if you labor entirely to secure them to yourselves independent of regarding the interests of your friends. I know this is a good and important principle" (262).
A great example of this principle is the fact that when we teach something, we come to understand it better than if we were to just listen to someone else teach it. My dad is always saying, "We retain 90% of what we teach, and only 10% of what we hear." It goes to reason, then, that this would be true in every aspect of our lives, not just in teaching. I have decided to try it out, to see if it really works, and to do more for those around me than I do for myself. I have no doubt that in serving others, I will have more purpose and joy in mine.
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