A "Tude" of Gratitude

I don't know if this is a new thing, or a semi-new thing, but for the last few years I've been hearing about teenagers who have a "tude." I have heard it most often in the context of: "What's with the tude?!" It's the slimmed down version of what I grew up with, which was: "Don't you give me that attitude young lady!" (Or young man.) Interesting fact: A 'tude' is not born of the teen years. If there's one thing I know, it's something that we are all born with the moment we enter the world. As the two year old stage has clearly shown me, and every other mom and dad, children begin to really exert their "tudes" right about the time they learn to talk. The ability for self-expression inevitably leads to a "tude," for better or for worse.

Poor "tudes"! They get such a bad wrap, when really, an attitude can be anything we make it. An attitude isn't inherently bad, it's just usually noticed more, and so commented upon, when it's used negatively. We can use our "tudes" however we want. The one that keeps coming to my mind is an Attitude of Gratitude; to make it sound even cooler, we could call it a "Tude of Gratitude;" to make it shorter and more easily textable, it's AoG. (wink and a laugh)

I grew up being reminded to have an attitude of gratitude. I'm sure that in the moments I needed reminding of it, I was the least receptive because I was being anything but grateful. Fortunately the negativity of those moments has been forgotten, but I have held onto the lesson of having an "attitude of gratitude." (See Mom and Dad, I was listening!)

It's something we all know, but sometimes need reminding of: that the opposite of negative feelings like disappointment, self doubt, backbiting, selfishness, and greed (and many more) is gratitude. Once the attitude of gratitude takes over, there's no room left for those other debilitating emotions. True gratitude swells up inside of us, removing the emotions that hold us down and lifting us up so we can see more clearly; once above the negativity, our higher vantage point allows us to better appreciate all that we have to be grateful for.

In the spirit of cultivating an attitude of gratitude, not just this week or this month, but all year round, I have made a list of some of the things I am most grateful for:

1. My Family! My parents and siblings; Austin's parents and his siblings; our aunts, uncles and cousins; our grandparents; and last but not least, our children! - they all make my life more rich and meaningful. Their love and support and example is a wonderful reminder to me about why life is so grand. Life, regardless of the "bummers," will always be a blessing for me because life is what creates and builds families.

2. My Country! I know there is a lot of political turmoil, and a lot of topics that could easily place friends on opposite sides of the aisle. Putting that all aside, I'm grateful for this country. I don't like the negativity that frequently exists alongside politics, but thank goodness we all get to have a voice, and we all get to choose if we want to be negative or positive. I'm grateful that there is a choice, and that's because of the country we live in, where we are FREE.

3. My Savior, Jesus Christ! He is the Savior of all mankind, but I can claim Him as my own personal Savior as well, because he atoned for the sins of each individual. I'm so grateful and glad to know that I can repent from any mistake. I try to avoid making too many of them (wink) - but since I'm bound to make my fair share of mistakes here and there, I'm grateful that I can repent of them and keep working on doing a little better, day by day.

In the words of someone far more eloqent than I: "We can lift ourselves, and others as well, when we refuse to remain in the realm of negative thought and cultivate within our hearts an attitude of gratitude. If ingratitude be numbered among the serious sins, then gratitude takes its place among the noblest of virtues." - President Thomas S. Monson

Happy Thanksgiving - this day, and every day!

Doing Good to Others

"We have been sent into the world to do good to others; and in doing good to others we do good to ourselves." - Lorenzo R. Snow ( Teachings of the Presidents of the Church: Lorenzo Snow, 259)


I've found myself thinking about "doing good to others" a lot lately. We had a lesson at church in our Relief Society class about this very topic. Since then I've been doing some self reflection. I consider myself a fairly decent person. I'm pretty friendly, but even I have my issues. For example, I really hate stupid drivers. It's just this thing that really bugs me and even though I know they can't hear my snarky comments from inside my car, I still find myself making them and waving my hands around like a lunatic to show them what a ridiculous thing they just did. (It's ok if the visual of this makes you laugh!) This usually comes along with feelings of frustration, aggravation, annoyance, etc. But recently I have decided to try to give those people the benefit of the doubt, because I know that I sometimes do stupid things when I'm driving too. (Don't worry Austin, I haven't done anything stupid enough that could get me into a car wreck.) Because even if they can't hear me, my kids in the backseat can hear me, and those negative feelings only end up effecting my own day.

President Snow makes some great comments about serving others, and this is one of my favorite: "Cultivate a spirit of charity; be ready to do for others more than you would expect from them if circumstances were reversed" (257) I can't decide how others will react towards me when I do something "not so smart," (like when I'm driving) but I can try to improve my own reactions towards others and create in myself a more positive perspective on life and those around me, both friends/family and strangers.

To that end, I've noticed since becoming a mom I am more sensitive to the pains and struggles people experience. Some part of me thinks, "What if that was my child?" I consider those feelings I have, and then I wonder how our Heavenly Father feels watching over us. If I, as human and mortal and imperfect as I am, can feel so much love for my children and so much love for my friends, family, neighbors and even strangers, how much more must our Heavenly Father love us?!

I was watching my children just the other morning as they were watching Curious George together. Konrad had helped Fray up onto a chair and was sitting next to her with his arm around her shoulder. She was leaning her head against him and I just looked at them and thought - "I'm so glad they are so loving and kind to each other! I'm so glad they get along so well!" I consider our Heavenly Father, who loves us with a purity and perfection we can't understand, and I feel that he wants me to be a good sister to all of my brothers and sisters in the world. I feel that just as I want my children to get along and help each other, He wants us to do the same to one another.

I am finding more and more what a good example my children are to me. Fray is almost 2 and she loves to smile and wave at everyone. In the grocery store, walking to the car, at the playground, and so on. This one moment sticks out in my mind though: I was in the bank with her and I'm like everyone else - I go about my business, not really paying attention to the people around me who are also just doing their own thing. And then there's Fray. She's walking around the bank, looking everyone in the eye, smiling her big gorgeous smile and waving to them all. As she was doing this I saw the change that came over each person as they saw her and reacted to her friendly disposition and one by one they each got these huge grins on their faces and waved back. They then all looked up at me, with those smiles on their faces, and I just smiled back. I have to think that her simple actions of love and sincere friendship brightened their day, because it certainly brightened mine.

These kinds of moments stick out in stark contrast to the conditions of the world today. This world of technology has done much to shorten the distances and make the world feel much smaller. But it has also had the opposite effect of shutting us off to personal interactions with our neighbors and the stranger in front of us in line or at the bank.

I have made it my goal to do as President Snow encourages us: "Let your minds be expanded to comprehend and look after the interest of your friends that are around you, and where it is in your power to secure benefits to your friends do so, and in so doing you will find that those things which you need will come into your hands quicker than if you labor entirely to secure them to yourselves independent of regarding the interests of your friends. I know this is a good and important principle" (262).

A great example of this principle is the fact that when we teach something, we come to understand it better than if we were to just listen to someone else teach it. My dad is always saying, "We retain 90% of what we teach, and only 10% of what we hear." It goes to reason, then, that this would be true in every aspect of our lives, not just in teaching. I have decided to try it out, to see if it really works, and to do more for those around me than I do for myself. I have no doubt that in serving others, I will have more purpose and joy in mine.

Why are Mormons "different"?

I get that I'm different. I'm cool with it too. And there's a reason why I get asked, being a Mormon, what makes my religion different than all the others. I used to think this was a hard question to answer. Where to begin?! Fortunately the answer is quite simple: As a Mormon, I believe in modern-day revelation. "We believe all that God has revealed, all that He does now reveal, and we believe that He will yet reveal many great and important things pertaining to the Kingdom of God." (Articles of Faith, #9), Blog Post: {Article of Faith #9}).

      In short, I believe that God speaks to his children through revelation; just as He spoke to them in the past (The Bible and Book of Mormon), He speaks to his children now. It makes sense, to me, that because God does not change, that He wouldn't change the way He communicates with us - through revelation. I know there are things we may not know, that there are endless questions about God and our lives here on earth and I believe in a God who loves his children so much, he wouldn't want them to be confused or to feel alone or to be in darkness. I believe in a God that wants us to learn and grow and to understand these questions, big and small. I believe that the key to getting answers, to getting revelation, is that we have to ask first. He respects our agency - our ability to choose right or wrong, to choose right or left, or whatever the choice may be. So he won’t force us to learn, or force us to accept His gospel. He’s knocking at the door, waiting for us to open it and let Him in.

I have seen how personal revelation has affected my life. I have felt God's love for me and His interest in my life on a day to day basis that has given me the support and strength I need, because I know I am never alone. I don't have to do the hard stuff in life by myself. My family doesn't have to do it on our own. We can work hard in life and in our faith and know that God is watching over all, and will actively help us in our endeavors. This is what gives me purpose and happiness. Crap happens. It always has and it always will, and without my faith it would be difficult to overcome those moments. Thank goodness that God will always be there too! Thank goodness I can ask Him for help and guidance, and I can receive aid!

A Miracle Half a World Away

I know a lot of us have been glued to the news, watching in horror as the tragic events in the Philippines unfolded and we saw the devastation left in the wake of the Typhoon Yolanda (Hayan). I am always sad and worried about any person or country that experiences a catastrophe. But this particular natural disaster really effected our family. My husband Austin served a two year, full-time mission for The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints in the Tacloban, Philippines Mission from 2003 - 2005. He spent every waking moments talking to the people, speaking their language, learning about their culture, and teaching people about the Gospel of Jesus Christ. I like to joke that he came back part Filipino, but I'm not really joking. Those people are his family. To know that the Typhoon was about to hit the exact area of his mission on the island of Leyte was terrifying. I have not been to the Philippines yet, but I have skyped with Marivil Temosa. She is a beautiful, strong woman and so amazing! Because I knew her, my concern for the Philippine people was centered on her. I knew that I wanted to do something to help, despite being half a world away.

So Austin and I agreed to fast 24 hours and pray for her, her family, and the Filipino people on Leyte. Many of our family joined our fast. Our purpose was to ask God to protect them as the winds and water threatened their safety. We were encouraged to know that they would have sought safety in the church buildings, that are built of solid bricks. It took days to find out what had happened to the Temosa family, and when we did, we were so happy to know that they were safe and well! That, in and of itself, is a miracle and a blessing. We asked if their house had been flattened, because with winds over 200 miles per hour there's no way a wood hut with a tin roof would be able to resist those forces. Brother Temosa said, "All the houses were flattened. Except for ours. It's the only one standing and it still has it's roof."

That story isn't about me and Austin. It's about how fasting accesses the blessings of heaven. This experience has helped me better understand the scripture in the Old Testament, in Ezra 8:23, "So we fasted and besought our God for this: and he was entreated of us." We fasted, we prayed, and God answered. I am grateful for miracles in life, that strengthen my belief and faith in God.

Here's a map of the area, the course the typhoon took, and the number of people affected (click on it to make it bigger):

I'm a Mormon because I'm a Nerd

To understand me and my faith, it's important to know what makes me, ME. I have thought long and hard about this and I have narrowed it down to two things that help illustrate why I'm me, and thus why I'm a Mormon:

1. I love to read... and write... and research. Granted, the reading and writing part are more common. But I LOVE to research. I read, for research. I write, from research. I excelled in my literary classes in high school and college because I loved building and writing a research paper - and yes! Doing all that research! For someone like me, I struggle with the "he said, she said" in the social media. In a world of Google and Facebook, the game "Telephone" has taken on an entirely new meaning. For those of you too young to know that game (oh wow, I'm old enough to say that now), it's where one person says a sentence like "I want to eat some watermelon." This phrase is whispered, from ear to ear, around a circle of people, until it returns to the person who started it. Invariably, by the time it goes through all those mouths and ears, it has morphed into something unrecognizable like "I won toe summer total man." In emails, posts, articles, etc I have seen how a quote, a phrase, even a word, can be used to anyone's agenda, without any responsible credit going back to the originating source or context. This is where my love for research comes in. I love finding the actual quote, to understand the actual context, of the actual author. Novel, I know, but what can I say - I'm a nerd.

2. I love math. I'm one of those weird freaks of nature who loves literature AND math. I think my brother, Kyle, may be one of the only other people I've met who is like me. It must be a genetic thing. Most everyone else I know either loves literature and hates math, or loves math and hates literature. Here's why I love math - there's a right answer to every problem and if you understand the principles well enough, you can check your answers, to make sure you have the right answer. There's no opinion-based, subjective reasoning that can change the fact that 2+2=4.

See, the researcher in me loves literature because I am responsible for my own conclusions, based on my own research. I get out what I put into it. No one can make me learn or make me understand. There's no magic button that can give me all the knowledge and information I may need or want. Sure, there are search buttons that make it more easily accessible, but it still takes personal effort to find and sift through information. I have to take the time and energy to search and study and record my findings. It is this individual journey that has fueled my love for researching.

I could be considered a paradox, because literature can be so subjective, where math is not. But math keeps me true. I could drift off, researching every topic and discourse and quickly lose myself in a tangle of opposition and confusion, being easily swayed by this opinion and that whim. But my love of math comes from knowing that I am only as good at math, as my own ability to learn and understand the principles of math, knowing that I can find a true answer. 

Likewise, God has provided us with the principles of the Gospel in scripture. Taking the principles of the Gospel in hand with a willingness to read and study and research, creates a formula for success that will yield results. We can find truth, despite confusing and conflicting information. When I study, I'm trying to learn about God, His plan for me, and how I can live His gospel. This focus and perspective is like a north star, guiding me and keeping me on course.

If you've read this far, I thank you for your patience. The lengthy explanation was important to understanding how I think and function, to better grasping why being a Mormon makes so much sense for me personally. Hopefully you can tell that being a Mormon is an incredibly personal decision that I, and I alone, have made. Do not think I am a Mormon because my parents are. Do not say I am a Mormon because I've been brain washed by leaders. I am a Mormon because I want to be, simple as that.

I have done my own research. I have read The Bible (yes, the whole thing) and The Book of Mormon. I have studied the scriptures. I have cross referenced them. I have asked God through prayer and thoughtful meditation, to help me understand and to find truth. Regardless of what religion a person prescribes to, I think we can all agree on one thing: That only God knows all truth.

Because God is omniscient, I know the best way to find truth is to ask Him. So, through prayer, I ask Him questions, having faith that I can receive an answer. I search, I read, I study, I think, and then I take what I've figured out on my own and I discuss it, in prayer, with the one person who knows all. I have received answers. I have found truth. And I look forward to spending the rest of my life on a journey of researching and learning even more. Because I don't believe that I can know all there is to know about God and His Gospel, just in a moment or a week or a year. I believe it will take the rest of my life, spending time each day, reading the scriptures, writing about my thoughts and feelings, praying and asking questions, and living my life such that I am acting upon the knowledge I am given.

Take the time, do your research, ask questions in faith, and expect to find answers.

What and Why?

Dear friends and family, future and present:

What's the point of this blog? In a nutshell, it's to share who I am in a neutral, safe environment, without any pressures on me or anyone else. I feel like, when sharing my beliefs, there can be this pressure on me to make myself understood, without sounding pushy, and there's the pressure on the other person listening to either agree with me, or risk offending me if they don't agree with me. I want to start by saying, I'm fine with anyone who agrees or disagrees. My purpose is to share of myself, to share of my love, and to share of my religion. As friendly and outgoing as I usually am, I have held back a lot in this area of my life; yet I have realized that those around me don't know me as well as they could, because they don't know and understand the one constant in my life that gives me purpose, hope, and happiness: Jesus Christ and His gospel. I want to share and offer clarity about myself, and thus about my church, The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints - in laymen's terms: I'm a Mormon.

To put it all out there, honestly and without guile, I have not spent very much of my life sharing my beliefs with my friends and family because of my fears of rejection. I of course have no real reason to feel that way. My life has been and continues to be filled with family and friends who love me and have always been a support to me. So what's my problem? Where does this fear come from?

I discovered the answer while responding to my brother-in-law, Jordan Gunther, who is currently serving an LDS mission in Chile. He asked me why people are so terrified to share their beliefs with others, especially with close friends and family. I responded, "Our beliefs are so much a part of who we are, that we're not so much scared they'll reject our message - we're scared they'll reject US. We're worried that we'll offend someone we're close to and ruin the relationship. However, I have decided that friends and family and acquaintances will not be offended when we lovingly share something with them that has so much meaning in our own lives."

So that is the purpose of this blog. Whether it is read by one or many, I hope to use this form of communication to share my beliefs with my family, friends, and any who are interested. I share it out of love. I share it so that those who know me, can know me just a little bit better, because this Gospel of Jesus Christ is inseparably part of who I am. To that end I would like to share my testimony, beliefs, and experiences in daily or weekly blogs.

Comments and questions are always welcome, and may even help me to write future posts! With that in mind, I only ask for positivity and curiosity. There are many forums and places out there where religion is an arena for animosity and negativity on both sides of the argument. This is a safe place for all, regardless of differing opinions or beliefs.

With all my love,
Sara