Just last week I read an article from a woman who "looks down on young mothers with children and isn't sorry." Despite all the potentially offensive comments she made (I was actually laughing through all of it), the only problem I had with it is that she, a woman, is more judgmental of our gender than any man I know. (I'm sure there are exceptions, I just haven't met them.)
Why are we most judgmental of those most like us, the people we should understand the best and be the most compassionate toward? It's like somehow, because we know better than anyone else what that other Mormon, or other woman should or could be doing, we have the right to look down on them when they appear to fall short in our eyes.
The biggest problem with those moments is that it's not at all about them - it's ALL ABOUT US. We are offended they fell short, we think they're a hypocrite, we would never do what they're doing. Wow. How awesome are we. We must really have our crap together. Oh wait, no, we don't. We have our own faults, our own challenges, our own shortcomings.
The truth is that none of us are perfect. Thank goodness we're all equals, in being imperfect, right?! And in our non-perfect state, we all fall short of our personal goals and ideals, self-imposed or based on religious beliefs. It's ok to make mistakes! It's ok to have issues! It's ok to not be perfect!
So what are we going to do about it? There's an answer, more perfect than any I could compose, in Matthew, where Jesus tells us:
Here's what I've come to understand from this short yet powerful lesson:
- Don't judge. Period.
- We see the fallacies of those around us more quickly and easily than we do our own. And why not? It's much easier to focus on other people's problems. It's harder to reflect and fix ourselves.
- We need to take care of ourselves first, not in a selfish way, but in the way of improving on our own faults or repenting of our own sins first.
- Once we have, guess what? Christ doesn't say we can then judge others because we don't have that problem anymore. He says help them! Why? Because after working through our mistakes or sins, we are in a better position to understand, empathize, and have charity for others going through similar moments of trial in their lives.
- A hypocrite is not someone we see doing a bad thing, when they should know better. We are being the hypocrite when we judge them for it. We are the hypocrite when we don't lovingly and kindly help in whatever way they need it.
We may not be perfect, but we have a perfect God who uses us, His imperfect instruments, to help His children. What I hope to accomplish in my life is to find more love, more charity, more understanding for everyone around me. And to stop being so critical and judgmental of those I could help the most. Hopefully others will treat me with the same kindness, because goodness knows I'm far from perfect!
To finish, one of my new favorite quotes is from a leader of my church, President Dieter F. Uchtdorf:
"If you define hypocrite as someone who fails to live up perfectly to what he or she believes, then we are all hypocrites. None of us is quite as Christlike as we know we should be. But we earnestly desire to overcome our faults and the tendency to sin. With our heart and soul we yearn to become better with the help of the Atonement of Jesus Christ."
